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rel·ish (rlsh)

n.

1. An appetite for something; a strong appreciation or liking: a relish for luxury.

2.

a. Hearty enjoyment; zest.

b. Something that lends pleasure or zest.

I can’t believe that I was so excited about taking my trusty dSLR out and about with me.

I can’t believe that I was so excited about taking pictures of my friends in bad lighting.

I can’t believe that I was so anxious to individually color correct 75 pictures that I couldn’t rest until I was done editing and uploading them for my friends to see.

Is this what it means to be completely enthralled into a hobby?

My friend Steven had mentioned that artists that are poor due to their art never complain about being poor because they are fulfilled and content by doing what they want to do: creating art. I, somehow, don’t mind that I am neck deep in debt and continue to dig myself deeper due to my photography expenses. I don’t mind that I look like a complete doofus in public just to get one low angle shot. I don’t mind that I’m standing out in the cold, shivering my ass off, just to shoot an image that I really wanted to capture.  I don’t mind that I may die of sleep deprivation just because I wanted to capture a moment with my camera.

I may be limited on what tools I have now, but someday, I think I would be able to afford the equipment to expand the limits of my creativity. Photographer Chase Jarvis had mentioned that ‘the best camera you have is the one that is with you.’ Of course, I’m paraphrasing him; so, sometimes it doesn’t matter about the equipment, as long as you can get the shot, it’s all good.

I can’t believe what started out as a whim, to chase after a dream because someone believed that I had the ability to do it, something that sucks my bank account dry but expands my creativity, turned out to be something so very amazing. I’ve met so many new people along the way that it just made the bumpy ride even more enjoyable and fun.  I’ve noticed that I’ve managed to pull people into the flow of my amateur work.

I felt like I had lost everything almost a year ago.  I was completely broken and devastated. Though, somehow, I’ve managed to regain all the pieces of myself that I had lost.  And not only that, every thing that I had regained managed to be so much better than what I originally had.  It’s like all the pieces of my life that were shattered and broken has managed to come back together and become stronger than before.

To my friends who read this: I’m so thankful that you guys pulled me out of the depths of my depression and continue to humor me along with my crazy ideas and antics.  The last three to six months have been simply amazing.  The depths of our friendships make me so happy that I can barely find the words to convey myself.  You guys can always make me laugh when I need it, and are always willing to hang out with me when I simply do not want to be left alone. You guys really did redefine the word “friendship” in my personal vocabulary, and I can’t thank you enough. You guys know who you are.

To the certain someone that helped me set my life back on track and set my heart on fire, the person that believed in me: I’m so glad that we had met, and I miss you very much. I don’t dare to disappoint you with my photography skills. You may be all about the Nikon but I’ll show you what’s up with my Canon!  I’ll still be here when you’re ready to come back.

Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you [in bed].

-2/27/10

Edit: A certain someone, who shall remain nameless (Cynthia), told me to “delete that shit” but instead of deleting it, I figured I would cross it out instead, lol.  Oh, and by the way, I totally “plugged your channel.”